Heroes of Hogwarts
by HyperKat
Summary: **dramatic background music**What does it take to be a hero? *looks around at the school's new heroes* **music stops**Apparently not much...
1. The heroes are born....and then some tim...

Heroes of Hogwarts  
  
Its all mine!!!! *waits for the handcuffs*  
  
~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~  
  
Fizzy- HEY LITTLE KIDDIES! Question! What do you do when your in trouble?  
  
You- Uh, you call for help.  
  
Fizzy- Uh-huh, and what do you do if there is NO help?  
  
You- Well, I guess your screwed then.  
  
Fizzy- You would be right my good man, if there was ever a time when a hero isn't nearby.  
  
You- What do you mean?  
  
Fizzy- I mean if you get mugged and they take your shoes, the hero was there. He just didn't feel like saving you.  
  
You- 0.o Um, uh what?  
  
Fizzy- You heard me. And that's what the Harry Potter gang had to figure out the hard way. Yes, that's right. See, it all started one day...  
  
*~*~ FLASHBACK!!!! ~*~*  
  
Hermione bit into her sandwich one day.  
  
Hermione- Hmm. This sandwich is a little dry.  
  
She waves her wand around and the sandwich instantly has Mayo on it.  
  
Ron- Bloody hell! How did you do that Hermione? It was like magic!  
  
Hermione- Well, go figure.  
  
They went on eating until-  
  
Some guy in some too-stretched spandex- THAT'S IT, I QUIT!!!!! IM THROUGH BEING THIS ROTTEN SCHOOL'S HERO!!!!!  
  
And the guy walks out of the door. Everyone's silent for a minute, then gets back to talking.  
  
Ron- What was all THAT about?  
  
Hermione- Apparentley, that was our school's hero.  
  
Harry- But he never saved me!  
  
Hermione- Exactly. You always seemed to save yourself and anyone else who ever needed help, so he's quit.  
  
Ron- Good Job, Harry.  
  
Draco- Yeah, nice going.  
  
Harry- What are you doing at this table, anyway?  
  
Draco- UM, nothing.  
  
Legolas- We can't just let this stand! We have to take action! What's anything without a hero?  
  
Everyone looks at Legolas.  
  
Ron- Who the hell are you?  
  
Legolas- I am Legolas. Do you need a ..*super man pose with one outstretched hand* HANKY?!  
  
Ron- No, Um, thanks.  
  
Legolas- So whaddaya say? You guys ready to fight crime?  
  
Ron- Ohk.  
  
Draco- Whatever.  
  
Ginny- Can I-  
  
Legolas- NO.  
  
Harry- Well, I guess.  
  
Hermione- I suppose so.  
  
Legolas- Kool.  
  
~*~* FLASHBACK ENDS *~*~  
  
Fizzy- And that's how the Heroes of Hogwarts were born.  
  
You- 0.o  
  
Fizzy- Kinda makes you think, doesn't it. *stares out into space for a while*  
  
  
  
AND NOW......INTRODUCING- THE HEROES OF HOGWARTS!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Harry Potter as- THE AMAZING SCAR WONDER! With amazing powers similar to those of a chipmunk!  
  
Ron Weasley as- WEASEL BOY! With extraordinary Weasel-tastic powers!  
  
Hermione Granger as- AFRO CHICK! Need I say more?  
  
Draco Malfoy as- THE SEXY SLYTHERIN SLUT! With-  
  
Draco- HEY! That's just creepy and inaccurate!!  
  
Look, man its my story and I think you're a sexy Slytherin slut, so deal, got it???  
  
Draco- We-  
  
Good. Now, where was I?  
  
Draco Malfoy as- THE SEXY SLYTHERIN SLUT! With the powers to seduce even the most non-seducable thingie.  
  
And last, but not least-  
  
Legolas as- LEGOLAS!  
  
*crickets chirp*  
  
With the power to save people when they don't need to be saved!!  
  
Legolas- I'll save you!!!! *runs when the overly dramatic James Bond music starts up and then stops * Need a..... HANKY?!  
  
AND TOGETHER, THEY FORM-  
  
Ginny- Wait, don't forget me!  
  
What about you?  
  
Ginny- I'm a superhero, too!  
  
Ahem, ha that's right.  
  
Ginny- I am! Im Ginny as- MISS AMERICA! With the power to..to..to um.  
  
Yeah, that's grand. Maybe next time, half pint.  
  
AND TOGETHER, THEY FORM-----------THE HEROES OF HOGWARTS! SWORN TO AVENGE THE GOOD AND TAKE DOWN THE BAD! OH YEAH!!!!!!!  
  
They all do a pose and Draco playfully punches Legolas. Lego punches him back and before you know it, theyre all down on the floor wrestling.  
  
Yes, Hogwarts. We're doomed.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Well, theres the first chapter! This chapter was mostly for introductions only. I need plots. I need.villians. I need ideas. And who better to give them to me, but YOU?!?!?! Okay, well if you have any ideas, let me know via reviews or email. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review!!!!!! I need reviews! I cant survive without reviews! LOL please? Eh, okay whatever.  
  
Check out my other stories. Check out my sister's story, "Hogwarts: WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING THESE KIDS???!!!" Its about one of the funniest things Ive ever read. Well, Peace. Luv ya, bye!!!!!!  
  
~*~KATIE~*~ 


	2. Battle of the Super Stars

HEROES OF HOGWARTS!!!!!!!!!  
  
Chapter 2-  
  
Nada es mi. Err. Nothing's mine.  
  
***************************  
  
We found our heroes in a battle of sheer wits, courage and mind boggling intelligence that will prepare them for greatness-  
  
Hermione- KING ME!!!!!!!  
  
Legolas kings her checker- Damn, Afro Chick, that's 4 games in a row!  
  
Meanwhile, somewhere else in the castle-  
  
Ginny- Not let me be a superhero, eh? I'll show them! I'll show them all! I'll become a super VILLIAN! They'll see! I shall be : NAUGHTY MS. AMERICA! *cackles insanely*  
  
Phoebe- But, you don't even live in America, Ginny.  
  
Ginny- SILENCE, COMMONER! Now, fetch me some grape soda and a burger, I need brain food to plot my devilish plan!  
  
Phoebe- Fetching.  
  
Later that day-  
  
At the GH.  
  
Professor Quirrel, while running around insanely- TROLL! IN THE DUNGEON! TROOOOOLLLLL!!!!! IN THE DUNGEON!  
  
Hermione- Dude, that was, like, SO first book.  
  
Harry- Yeah, were like older and in the middle of puberty now, we wont fall for that again.  
  
Ron- Puberty is a nasty word.  
  
Harry- Puberty.  
  
Ron-*shudder*  
  
Draco- Puberty.  
  
Ron & Harry- *shudder*  
  
Hermione- *sighs* Men.  
  
Draco- WHERE?!  
  
Dumbeldor- HELP!!!!! A HORMONALLY STRESSED OUT TEEN IS RUNNING A RAMPAGE AND DESTROYING THE SCHOOL!  
  
Crickets chirp. Blink.  
  
Dumbledor sighs- *THIS* SCHOOL!  
  
Students- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  
  
Students run around screaming, carrying on and such.  
  
Ginny suddenly shows up in some lingerie.  
  
Silence.  
  
Ginny- Silly mortals! I am no match for you!  
  
Silence.  
  
Ginny- Uhm, you are no match for me! Give up now whilst I create utter havoc in the walls of this school!  
  
Ginny runs off to create utter havoc in the walls of the school.  
  
Ron aka Weasel Wonder Boy stands up on the table, all heroic like- THIS looks like a job for....Somebody else.  
  
Ron gets down and walks away.  
  
Harry- He's right. How are we going to stop her? She's too tough.  
  
Draco- You could be right, be-  
  
Legolas- You could be right, because that's true.  
  
Draco looks hurt.  
  
Legolas- But what Ginny can not beat is the power of music!!!  
  
Hermione- Come again?  
  
Legolas- God, get with the times! Justin Timberlake, DUH!  
  
Lego takes out a small bag and pulls Justin Timberlake out of it.  
  
Justin- Hey, the album comes out July 24, what am I doing here?  
  
Draco- You're here to stop an evil hormonally stressed out teen from creating even more utter havoc in the walls of-  
  
Legolas- You're here to stop an evil hormonally stressed out teen from creating even more utter havoc in the walls of the school!  
  
Justin-...  
  
Draco-THIS-  
  
Lego- THIS school!  
  
Justin- *gasp*!!!  
  
Draco- 0.o  
  
Meanwhile, back at Oliver Wood's house-  
  
Oliver's Mama- Did you remember to clean out the toilet bowl, Oli dearest my love of my heart, heartstring, love?  
  
Oliver- Yes, mama.  
  
Author- Tch, tch. You should have spent more time pondering over your workbooks and not playing with your broomstick, Oliver.  
  
Back at Hogwarts-  
  
Our heroes, except for Weasel Boy, face up to their most vile and apparently one and only super villian.  
  
Ginny is spray-painting graffiti on the bathroom stalls.  
  
Harry- This is her idea of creating utter havoc within the walls of our school?  
  
Draco- Maybe they're-  
  
Lego- Maybe theyr're bad words?  
  
Draco-*twitch*  
  
Harry shrugs, then turns back to the villian- GINNY!  
  
Ginny turns around, revealing 'Ms.America + Scar Boy= 4Ever!!!'  
  
Ginny- What?!  
  
Hermione- We have someone for you!  
  
Ginny- Oh, yeah? And who is that?  
  
The lights grow dim as the heroes separate and the spotlight is shown on.OMIGOD! JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!  
  
Justin- The album comes out July 24, how are you?!  
  
Ginny squeals in excitement and runs over to him- Oh, Ive always wanted to meet you, Ive dreamed about you, I love you! I love N'Sync, I lo-  
  
Crickets chirp.  
  
Ginny- Wait a second. Your trying to trick me into getting in Justin's pants so that I'll forget about creating utter havoc within the walls of this school, aren't you?  
  
Harry- Uhm, no.  
  
Ginny- Sure, well you can just forget it!!!!!! It's good vs. evil now!!!!!  
  
Ginny takes a little glass ball out of her pocket and throws it on the ground. A huge puff of black smoke erupts and then-  
  
Hermione- Oh, my lord. Its Marshall Mathers.  
  
Everyone- :-o  
  
Eminem, with a sneer on his face- Where the *bleep bleep bleepity bleep* am I? Why the *bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep* am I here? What the *Blip bleep* is going on?!  
  
Harry- Its...Eminem. ().()  
  
Eminem- AH! ITS JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!!!!!  
  
Eminem boils Justin Timberlake's head- Behold, the power of white rappers. Pshaw!  
  
Eminem walks away.  
  
Ginny- Curses. You may have won this time, but I-  
  
Harry- What? We havent won yet.  
  
Ginny- Yes, but the author is getting sleepy. VERY sleepy. She cant think of anything else to write right now so she said we gotta rap it up. Ah- hehe, Eminem.. you get it? RAP it up? Haha, eh, okay.  
  
***********  
  
Author- There you have it, folks. Our superhero's have saved the day once again!  
  
Hanz- what do you mean, "Once again"? This was the first time they saved the day!  
  
Author- FOOLISH MORTAL!  
  
Hanz- Wait a minute! *rips off author's mask, revealing Ginny.*  
  
Ginny cackles, then rips off Hanz' mask, revealing Derick Zoolander.  
  
Derick snickers, then rips off Harry's mask, revealing Dumbledor.  
  
Dumbeldor looks at the IotherI Dumbledor, who turns out to be Voldemort.\  
  
Voldemort eats Ron's face.  
  
Random girl- We're doomed.  
  
Random guy- Yup.  
  
*********  
  
There you have it, my second chapter. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!I NEED MORE SUPER VILLIANS! ANY IDEAS???  
  
BTW, the whole Justin Timberlake bein all "The album comes out July 24, whats going on?" is from the Fairly Odd Parents. Ah-hah, you thought you were going to get to turn me in, HA! 


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